Anthony Noto & Phone Spam

So there’s there’s this dude named Anthony Noto and he’s an analyst at Goldman Sachs. I’d like to punch him in the nut sack. Perhaps I should back up a few weeks and tell you why.

A few weeks backs some chick at Goldman Sachs called me up and asked me a few SEM Industry questions for some sort of poll or something. Feeling all cocky and important that Goldman Sachs would call little ol’ me I happily babbled on a variety of points for her. She thanked me for my time and that was that.

A few days later I come into the office and see a voicemail waiting for me. It’s from Anthony Noto – big time Goldman Sachs Analyst. How cool am I? He was so impressed with what I told his research assistant that he’s calling me directly to give me stock tips and make me rich in return for the valuable information I provided. Right?


It’s it a long long long long long voicemail about his hot stocks and why they are recommended buys etc. The timestamp indicates it came in the wee hours of the morning when I was pretty much guaranteed to not be here. About half way through I give up and hit 3-3-7 to fast forward to the end and delete. This was the first of many VM spams to come my way.

Finally after deleting many of these I actually sat all the way through one to get his phone number which he leaves to the very end of course. I sat all the way through cuz while I do know how to jump all the way to the end of a message no amount of button mashing would just skip forward partially.

A few minutes later after a very friendly chat with his assistant (who sounds quite sexy on the phone) I’m assured I’ll be taken off the list and we have a chuckle about his messages etc (he talks so fast you can barely follow along). I’m satisfied that I will no longer be plagued by another Anthony Noto, frenetic, caffeine induced stock expose.

This morning I see the VM light flashing….

THAT is why I think Anthony Noto deserves a shot to the sack.


  1. You think this ass actually leaves each message or does he have a fancy dialer that stays up all night auto-dialing for him…

    You should sell him a list of millions of ‘hot prospects’ that he can spam.

  2. I’m certain it’s an auto dialer – reminds me of when Homer Simpson got an auto dialer 🙂

  3. Too bad you can’t forward your phone to his number at night.

  4. If 3-3-7 deletes the message on your VM, then you can probably press 6 to accellerate playback (or 4 to slow it down). Pressing 6-6-6 is a great way to deal with windbags.

  5. You could always approach him with a million-dollar investment enquiry, get his cell phone number to discuss the deal, then ensure his cell phone gets called up at equally inappropriate times.

    Or would that not be nice?

    By the way, hope you haven’t just given away lots of SEM tips for free – it’s not unknown for VC companies to court people simply to get info for dangling a carrot.


  1. SEO says:

    It’s Not Just What You Read, but Also How You Read It

    Post about how you read something can sometimes matter as much as what you read.